Discrepancies in society occur due to the names and the food we eat but these are thrust on us as embellishments, to project our physical selves as ideal packages.
My sister and I have more differences than similarities
despite the concerted efforts of our parents to present us to the world as
similar looking sisters. We were(are) different in mentality. Although there is a
difference of 29 months between us by birth, we dare not look similar under any
circumstances especially out of school because to school we had to be in
uniform. C.E.M Joad puts it 'Uniformity is a danger' but my uniform means the
garment to be worn at school. May be this rebellious feeling dawned in my
sister’s mind first because to be out of uniform was a tremendous relief.
Whenever mother shopped for fabrics to stitch clothes for us they were always
similar. Later when the tailor took down measurements between us asking for the
designs or patterns , you could see my sister(being elder to me) making eyes at
me threateningly to emphasize that I should change my pattern, lest I copy
hers. The fabric may be the same but the designs differed .
A ‘designing’
approach can lead you to newer pastures. Do not get me wrong. I wanted people
to get different impressions about us so we longed to dress differently
although we belonged to the same flock.
As children we had no choice about selecting names for
ourselves, unlike today. a notification in the government gazette and an
insertion in the local newspaper decides your name to be legal. My sister was
named Lakshmi as father wished to name her after his mother. Then my turn came,
father selected Reshmi (no ancestors to be proud of,
except being a blood sister.) but it had to rhyme with Lakshmi . A few years
later I asked father quizzically what name would suit our brother, because
children / elder siblings were not consulted for selecting names, especially
daughters, how chauvinistic. He was confused with vague choices because this
time the gender was different so rhymes did not matter. Finally being
influenced by the Bengali novelist Sharat Chandra he settled for the first half
but was compelled to add Narayanan, to pay a tribute to our grandfather. So he
was named Sharath Narayan, grandson of Shri Ambadi Narayana Menon. Do you know
Kerala folks adopted the biological mother’s name (family name)? My father
despite being the biological son of Shri A.N. Menon had to call himself Shri
V.B. Menon ( Vadakoot Balakrishna Menon ) to elevate the status of his mother,
a matriarchal approach. Oh Ho Ho too much of name talk connecting our
biological roots.
Sisterly Breeding
We sisters had to go to a local Convent school for girls as
father wished it. Then after schooling we had to go to the same college nearer
home but I decided to opt out, to be different not defiant or adventurous.
Experiences were different and I had also to eat the humble pie, like wearing
the discarded clothes of my sister as I spent more money on transport and
books.
All said and done, do I have to speak of similarities ? Yes
one trait stood out - the waist length hair, thick and lustrous along with a
flawless complexion visible till date. Now it feels good to be compared.
The (H)airy Story
If name is an asset, hair also is an asset considering
biological factors, so also for us, sisters. Let me at first confide the
bad(sad) aspect of the asset. We were victims to pre-mature graying so right
from a young age our anxious mother ventured and vowed not to spare any effort to bring
back the black lustre to the hair. Our hair, my sister’s and mine. Then began the
rigours of ‘Ayurveda’ treatment that left us drained and pale en route, chasing one doctor after
another.
Oils, lotions, pastes made of black sesame seeds, herbal
drinks whereby we only enjoyed the intervals when we looked like normal
children of humans. When we went out to play in the evenings, our friends
enquired why we wore castor oil faces. Oh the ‘third degree’ meted out to us
for accepting this “hair”treatment, I kept praying that the future generations
should not face this torture. This treatment worked wonders in a couple of
years. But nobody invited us for shampoo ads, even if they would have father
would say a firm ‘No’. But one benevolent act of his is laudable, he installed a special swing in the house, to play and dry our hair after a
bath. So cool.
Mother was successful partially. The overall effect was a
‘Salt &Pepper’ effect, I mean the hue, but not to forget the strong
follicles that nurtured our long tresses coupled with the genes that bestowed
an extra grace. You know black clouds with silver linings (not figuratively)!
To be brief we looked mature because of the hair but we were immature in
thoughts.
Surnames to rue
The cosmopolitan background of being bred in a metro leaves
you smacking some surnames which had to be pronounced well. In Office this Parsi colleague whose first
name can be ignored because her surname
was ‘Wariava’ who was friendly to another Tamilian colleague . Everyday at lunch break the
Tamilian was ready with a three – layered lunch box who kept yelling
‘Waria Waria Va’, means coming or what , then come.
Another surname was ‘Kale’ who was as fair as a white lily,
refused to be called by his surname. Call me Kishore , he said. Those days I
had to meet my printer twice a week for work on phone and in person. His
surname irked me and a Mallu colleague. The man was a tall East Indian Catholic
from Vasai. I wouldn’t know what was the East Indian connection. It was
believed that he belonged to a community
that always looked ‘rattled’ and fortunately all their ancestors converged
for breeding in Vasai. They looked frail but were always in combat mode , physically
or vocally. Mr Couto, an exception, was softer than the Pope and had the surname Couto. In
Malayalam it meant, ‘ will you join me or shall I join you’. Bah ! We never
sipped a glass of water together even once. Such was the distance and formality
maintained but the surname always made me smile.
Mrs Wariava’s lunch
mate was Mahalaxmi, who was sometimes late so the former kept calling her-
Maha-late, Maha-bore, Maha –drama etc, She loved the term Maha.
Manu was the best of the lot , who earned a surname Manu
Bas, pronounced as ‘bus’. During lunch break he scrambled for left overs from
other staff members, he would lay them on his table and kept eating till all
shouted, turn by turn, Manu Bas means' Enough Manu'. He would go Chomp Chomp for 30
minutes with eyes shut and his brows bearing the strain of chewing. So they
were always raised or twitched, I mean his brows. Looked like an over fed wrestler
with a 50 inches waist that outsized his shoulder. But “Bus” Manu had the
cutest smile when he was not munching and an apt surname.
Attributes can flinch
Names couldn’t vouch to give the right attribute to the
‘named’ subject. Mother had a close friend Sita who was the epitome all virtues
according to her. May be but we were too young to analyse these virtues except
that she looked good and was blessed with three sons—all named after acclaimed
kings /princes namely ; Siddhartha, Ashoka and Harshavardhan. They were
affluent though but turned vagrants from their teens till their father sculpted
and entrenched them in the coffers of accounting for he worked (slogged and sweated)for a reputed
Chartered Accountants’ firm in Mumbai.
Similarly other names I knew were :
Netra (eyes) always had
eye problems and also underwent surgery once. She was a Maths teacher so
conjuring problems to lead them through criss-cross paths and arriving at
answers taxed her eyes.
Meenakshi (eyes of a fish) she was never proud of them
because they looked like marbles on a peg.
Dheeraj (patience/courage) Always ran out of these
attributes at spur of the moment.
SuryaKala (ray of art from the sun) Far from it , she had a
sly look and always hid behind walls and trees as if running away from people.
Manjulavaani (Mellow-voiced) Always croaked like a frog and
avoided music concerts. Only Vaani was better.
Names that misled despite a sharp mind—Frank Connors or Frank Abagnale who was always on the run….. with the title for the film “ Catch me if you
can”-ended in tragedy (Starring Leonardo di Caprio & Tom Hanks).Names do not make you popular but you actions do.
So be Busy with an active & positive mind .
So be Busy with an active & positive mind .
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