Skip to main content

The Agony Aunt can Sync-in and Sync-out of her job


An agony aunt sweats herself out for others’ problems and often stinks of others’ dirty linen. Naw, No don’t get me wrong. She is respectable and loves her job of being a part time counsellor. She is proud of her scorching ears that have buried umpteen unsavoury stories or emotional mishaps or snapped relationships.How should one define an agony aunt? She is a confession box that regularly gets filled with garbage but is ever willing to offer advice or solution.

What should be her qualification? A graduate in worldly private affairs,a post-graduate in Ways to pass through a maze of complicated relationships laden with thorns.A doctorate in developing a duckback to shield herself from rotten eggs and stale tomatoes. Over and above she must lead a spotless, stainless personal life devoid of emotional entanglements.

The art of making ‘glue’ has been(figuratively) the most wonderful discovery to help man be glued to man (means mankind).If man is a social animal he needs to gel well with his compatriots, be it at home(?) or with neighbours, at work with colleagues or with co-commuters(can be your chauffeur) while travelling or while tapping toes in a traffic jam keep twisting the steering wheel. Texting or talking on the mobile are short term reliefs.
The glue that defines a human need to adapt one’s nature to the nearest human is getting problematic these days.The irritant‘ bug’ which unsettles man in his comfort zone……hence an Agony Aunt provides solace  with a lacy bridge to tide over emotional waves.

Valsa strived to live but was killed.

Valsa begged for old cooked rice or left overnight rice from the few households nearby and she managed to fill that earthen pot that she put on the fire, a temporary stove. As the stew boiled to a translucent fluid in the courtyard she went about her daily domestic chores with ease.Then she poured out the rice stew into a tin container added a few drops of rose water so that the paste smelled pleasant. Later in the evening she poured it into tiny bottles ready to be sold. Not to forget the label that is glued to every bottle:“Valsa gum”- Rs 2/.Her two sons Shibu and Biju aged 11 and 9 were stashed away at a relative’s house in a distant village.What else can a woman do if she has a ‘goon’ for a husband.He is in and out of prison so often that he finds time only to squabble and turns violent at times.

Today the kind of women who seek to succeed in small business ventures have excelled in marketing spices, edible items that are home made, toys  and accessories for all youngsters. Valsa also is one among them who did sync into this small group of entrepreneurs.But her story took a different turn, her husband paved way for a stalker-cum-predator and that was the end.

Cheryl’s fatal marriage

This young and beautiful woman buoyed from the post of a receptionist to a clerk to a Personal Assistant within a year ( in the eighties when secretaries had a distinct career).The accomplishments she had were an astute sense of dressing, ambition and a hard worker. Then came Mr. Kamal, the new CEO who eyed Cheryl and was keen on appointing her as the P.A. Kamal should have been named ‘Kamaal’.

The outdoor jaunts multiplied so paved way for that inevitable trap.Then came the inevitable question of being biologically bound.A film like script? Exactly! Later a quick make-do marriage, then Cheryl was tucked away in a remote suburban apartment.Truth dawned late, Cheryl turned out to be the second wife, needless to say the CEO left the city for greener pastures( What a cattle mentality). Cheryl was left sobbing in public to complement her tarnished reputation and no support. (Nobody publicised legal compensation  then,  so-Shhhh).

Our misled-Cheryl ends her life. Why? Weak scruples and a sense of shame that led to end her life.
 
Are you wondering why my narratives pertain to women only. Being a woman I can gossip about women with women and add spice in the form of humor, pathos and alarm.So do not mind the spice, just stick to the character and circumstances.These were the words of Fatima to whom this piece is dedicated.

Fatima turned out rightly to be an Agony Aunt online, her two clients (Valsa and Cheryl) could not make her victorious as the cases turned into disasters. ( RIP Valsa! RIP Cheryl). 

Fatima needed help(?). Someone advised her to study Law. For some time her life was interspersed with dos and don'ts of the legal profession, that left her exhausted. Back now to her old profession- A.A. - quite agonising but morally fulfilling. Now she needs some female detectives, I am on my way to meet Fatima. Pray for me.Is it that easy to work as a detective?


So universally women sync-in and sync-out of situations but have to fend for themselves in order to spot the right slot and fit into public life. In a country like ours the women strive to stand tall or at least equal to men may be an inch shorter or taller.The height of gender scales are blurring. Mine(eyes) get blurred with tears .Will be back when the scales look more aligned.
{ Let me tell you a secret: None of my nieces have considered me to be an ideal agony aunt or for that matter an aunt as well. They remain more as daughters than nieces.
But my role as a detective in my next blog will pertain to two cases in the past which did ease off peacefully.Certainly they( the case studies) remain  friendly and  are happy till date.They did not belong to the family circle.}SEE YOU SOON.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Genes cannot elude fame and success

Should I feel defeated, inferior, jealous or elated to speak of Vidhi (name changed), a Jain by birth, born to a middle class family from Haryana. She went to a government school but fought her way through student life with just one eye. Topped her school and sailed through college life in flying colours. Her congenital defect of being in frail health was due to an auto-immune disorder which was evident from her eye defect that could not be rectified. But before substantiating more details on this person, I must add some interesting information about genes that can affect or break a person’s hopes. Fame/ success cannot elude a person for his defective genes if the person is industrious and indomitably strong-willed.
Why this genetic destiny?
The following facts are excerpts from “The Gene - An Intimate History” by Siddharta Mukherjee, these are added to clarify the importance or lack of importance for genes but a field that needs to be studied in an evolving manner, as this branch of sc…

Cosmos, my mate is steady

Know then thyself , presume not God to scan;
The proper study of mankind is man.
Alexander Pope, Essay on man.

I dare not say that I am in the ‘best’ frame of mind but this summer has affected my thought process. Is it because intake of food is reduced and liquids have usurped the digestive tract.
My acquaintances or friends are sparingly in contact via all modes of communication blame it on the sweating away of vital (?) emotions. My apparently feeble health has been treading a path towards that finite destination which may sound predictable and spiritual.  Destinations are drawing to a close or a dead-end too. But my travel list is still endless and I am ever willing to pack my bags and go on any journey to the desired destination. You can knock off the word ‘desired’ but travel does enrich.
She hardly travelled
Speaking of travel, the one person who considered ‘travelling’ an anathema, was my paternal grandmother who lived for almost 83 years.  She was a living encyclopaedia who read…

A change in political landscape

New Indian President


Electing a dalit President after being pitted against another dalit did not create a political maelstrom. Perhaps, this seemed to be the last straw on the camel’s back. A political evolution has a superficial gloss but does it really uplift the masses in the lowest rung of society? Overall we expect an erudite, accommodating President who will do good for all, true to the aspiration of Dr B R Ambedkar, the architect of the Indian constitution.

Ram Nath Kovind ,the new President  and more recently Mr.Venkiah Naidu was elected new vice-President are the new faces on the political landscape.

So much for a conveniently poised political picture painted for the highest office also drew a lot of flak from the opposition. The opposition is still rattled and clueless but will it only influence the secretly rich politicians to hide and play their cards less blatantly. We are heading for a heady battle of thoughts when politics is not so easy a game provided the players are…